Nardwuar: And you’re listening to CiTR Radio, FM 102, cable 102, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada and it’s time right now for the Nardwuar The Human Serviette radio show. And who do we have on the line right now? Who are you?

Fat Mike: My name is Fat Mike.

Who are you Fat Mike?

Uh, I’m a nice Jewish man from San Francisco.

Playing tonight in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Yeah, we’re playing at Richard’s On Richards but, uh, don’t come.

Fat Mike, the band that is playing is called Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies. That is the band that you participate in right?


Fat Mike, what did you think about that song I just played there? It was by a band called The Misfats. All fat guys doing Misfits covers with their song “Mommy Can I Go Out And Grill Tonight?”

[laughs] Uh, I hadn’t heard it.

Have you heard of The Misfits at all? The Misfits or The Misfats? Have you heard of The Misfits and have you heard of The Misfats?

Yeah, in fact as a teenager Nardwuar. I heard your name is Marcus, is that true?

Could be.

O.K.. Anyway Marcus, uh I had a devil lock when I was 15 years old so yeah, I’ve been a Misfits fan for quite a while.

Well, these guys are called The Misfats and they’re out of Portland, Oregon and the reason I bring them up is your band, Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies, what do you do with cover songs, not to confuse them with The Misfats? I guess The Misfats take Misfits songs and put their own fat twist on it. What do Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies do?

Uh, we make mediocre songs and degrade songs.

Do you put new lyrics into them or do you keep the original lyrics? Like what’s the difference between The Misfats and Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies?

Nardwuar, you’re being particularly weird this afternoon.

Thank you.

Yeah [laughs], are you not on your medication today?

Well, I’m building up to something because there is a combination, there is a difference between — actually go ahead what is the difference, I don’t want to explain it. [laughs]

Stop making me look—

So you’re saying there is a slip up in the medication taking today?

[laughs] No.

Maybe you took two Wednesday night pills when you, I dunno, I forgot the question, guy, Marcus.

Well the question is Fat Mike, and we’re speaking here to Fat Mike from Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies, I bring this up because there was a description of The Misfats that I found that said [ reads] The Misfats are different. Unlike like NOFX’s, average proportioned Fat Mike, these guys not only look the portly part, but also tweak Misfit lyrics to celebrate the lard ass lifestyle. “20 Pies” and “Mommy Can I Go Out And Grill Tonight” rank among the finest foodbased parodies since Weird Al’s gloriously gluttonous “Eat It” and “Fat” — so that is The Misfats.

Yeah, it makes sense to do that. But It’s kind of like a, oh, I dunno, a comedy album. Something that you might find slightly funny once but, I dunno how many times you want to listen to it. Just, y’know the whole difference in that song is two consonants, so, I dunno if that makes much of a difference in a cover song, I don’t know how interesting that makes it.

So how does that compare with what will be happening tonight with Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies, Fat Mike?

Well, we’ll be loaded and probably be making a large amount of errors and our clothes match.

Fat Mike, you are from San Francisco, California. The Misfats are from Portland, Oregon. But also from San Francisco, there’s a band called Plan 9. Have you seen them? They’re like a Misfits tribute band?

No. By the way Marcus, we aren’t a tribute band. We are a cover band.

I’m sorry.

No. There’s a big difference. It’s, it’s, y’know we have a rivalry going almost, such as the ones between mimes and clowns.

I wasn’t actually—

We’re clowns.

I wasn’t actually going to go in that direction Fat Mike. I was just going to say, I heard that these guys are so authentic in Plan 9, this Misfits tribute band from San Francisco, y’know working down the Coast, y’know. We start with Portland, The Misfats, and then we go down all the way to San Francisco to Plan 9, that the lead singer was surgically altered to look like Danzig.

So he had his legs cut off at the knees?

Ba-boom! Fat Mike, live on the Nardwuar The Human Serviette radio show. Not the—

Oh y’know, that was bad.

I’m sorry.

Not the Marcus The Human Serviette radio show.

So how do Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies compare to Plan 9? Like Plan 9 will get surgically altered to fit the songs. What extra distance do Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies add, Fat Mike, to the songs?

Uh, we don’t do a lot, we don’t try hard, uh-less hard than any band in rock ‘n’ roll that I can think of. We, y’know, don’t write anything, we don’t come up with a lot of original ideas.

Well, your shirts are amazing. You talked about your shirts. I love the shirts.

Well thanks, but all that is, is $20 a pop so we’re really not putting that much effort into it.

Don’t try to fool me on that! I know about wardrobe and assembling a wardrobe. How do you get those shirts because they’re all amazing? They’re not just like 20 bucks, like they look really good. How hard is it to get the outfits?

No. Actually, well we just got back from a Hawaiian tour. It’s our second Hawaiian tour. We did four shows out there and we just went to a shop and bought our clothes so it actually was pretty easy and they were $19.99.

How many different outfits do Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies have Fat Mike?


Just one? I thought you had a whole bunch. Like, every time I see a photo of you guys you’er wearing a different outfit. It’s really impressive.

O.K., O.K.. We have five or six.

Yeah. Could you explain them perhaps to the listeners out there in radioland Fat Mike?

Y’know, I think the listeners in radio land don’t care about our outfits.

I do! I care! I’m the listener! I’m the listener and I’m listening right now. I’m the listener! I’m listening here to Fat Mike from NOFX and Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies, who are playing tonight. Me First are playing at Richard’s On Richards with Chixdiggit.

Yeah, there’s enough people here tonight so we don’t need anymore people.

[Nardwuar get a caller]

Caller are you there?

Caller #1: Yes, I am Marcus.

Go ahead to Fat Mike. No, it’s Nardwuar The Human Serviette, please. Thank you. Caller are you there?

Caller #1: Yeah, I’m here and I’m just thinking I’d sure like to hear more about their wardrobe

Fat Mike: [laughs]You are a liar. Thank you caller. You are the one listener out there caller.

Caller #1: Yeah, so I’ll leave you guys to it.

Thank you so much caller and doot doola doot doo...

Caller #1: Me too!

Well, me first. That would work pretty good. Thank you.

Caller #1: Or, hang on. Actually maybe this works. Just see if this works… [Presses two keys on phone keypad]

Thank you.

Caller #1: Bye.


So people do care about the wardrobe.

They do. Maybe you could elaborate a bit?

Uh, we don’t wear drag very often.

Ba-boom! And you’re listening to CITR Radio FM 102. Cable 102. Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. The Nardwuar The Human Serviette radio show.


And we have Fat Mike from Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies on the line.

[Nardwuar gets another caller]

Caller are you there?

Chris Walter: Yes I’m here, it’s Chris Walter.

Hello Chris. How the hell are you?

CW: Good, good. Fat Mike, I’d like to introduce you to this caller, named Chris Walter. Chris Walter is originally from Winnipeg, Manitoba and I asked Chris to phone in because he is an expert on all things Stretch-Markian.

Fat Mike: Oh boy.

And I wondered if you could retell the story of seeing The Stretch Marks and how you love Canadian punk.

Fat Mike: [laughs]

CW: It was in Hollywood?

Fat Mike: Uh, it was in Hollywood, yeah. I saw the Stretch Marks four days in a row.

CW: Four days in a row?

Fat Mike: It was their first tour out there and we were singing along songs and they couldn’t believe that because they didn’t have any, any of them recorded yet—

CW: Well, their song’s are very easy to singalong to. Its just like, “Woof woof, it’s a dogs world.” I mean like how—

Fat Mike: That’s true, but they were still impressed that these three kids showed up at all four shows they played.

CW: Yeah, I guess.

Fat Mike: And then next year they came back and played a couple other shows and I was looking around for them. And I finally found one of the guys and went “Hey, it’s me Mike, remember from last year?” And he said “no.” And that was that.

CW: Were you crushed or—

Fat Mike: Yeah, I was crushed. But y’know I was 16 so I deserved it.

Have you, have you talked–

Fat Mike: And I get that all the time now. I get kids saying, “remember last year? Remember we talked for a minute?” And I don’t remember them either, but...

And Chris, actually, believe it or not Fat Mike, actually is pictured on a Stretch Marks 7- incher. Is that true Chris?

CW: That’s right.

Fat Mike: Is it the “Dog’s World” one?

CW: Yeah, on the back. I’m, like, the dance floor was kind of empty because I think there was beer spilt on it and people were fallin’ down at that moment, but I seemed to have regained my feet and I was in front of the stage there.

Chris, is it true also that a Stretch-Marker lives in Vancouver now? So a Stretch- Marker could actually go to Me First and thank Fat Mike for seeing them four nights in a row way back in the ‘80s?

CW: Well, Dick lives in Burnaby now at, uh. I don’t see him too often now. Once in a while I do. I have a question for Fat Mike though.

Fat Mike: Sure.

CW: Um, how did you end up with a soundman named Limo from Winnipeg?

Fat Mike: Well, I dunno how. We have a manager from Winnipeg, we have a soundman from Winnipeg, we have someone we don’t like at all from Winnipeg who hangs out with us. Basically, we hired the entire Gorilla Gorilla band except for Bif Naked.

CW: Except for Bif. She got left out huh?

Fat Mike: Yeah.

CW: Aw, poor Bif.

Fat Mike: [laughs] But I dunno. Winnipeg’s always been one of our favourite Canadian cities, but y’know every decently sized Canadian city is a good town, really.

How about visiting Vancouver for the first time?

Oh, I’ve been here a lot of times Marcus.

Nardwuar The Human Serviette. [laughs] Thank you very much Fat Mike. Well, if you want you can call me Marcus, I dunno, I don’t feel as comfortable calling myself Marcus because I think of Marcus Rogers and Marcus Rogers is a local filmmaker that works with D.O.A. D.O.A. are related to Death Sentence, well kind of indirectly. I think there might have been some tie-overs and I wanted to ask you Fat Mike about your first time in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, because didn’t you run into the notorious local punk band Death Sentence?

Yes. The, uh, that the story well what happened is we couldn’t get over the border with our equipment and we had a show with Death Sentence at, I forget which club it was. And, uh, so we had to leave our equipment in Seattle. So we drove back to Seattle, dropped our equipment off, came back up, made it to through the border, made it to the show in the afternoon and said “Can we use some of your guys gear to play?” and they said “No.” So we didn’t get to play. That was 1985.

Welcome to Canada.

Fat Mike: Yeah.

CW: I’m gonna have to put that on Syd Savag e(Death Sence Guitarist) next time I see him.

Fat Mike: [laughs]

CW: “Hey, you wouldn’t let them use your gear in the 80s.”

Fat Mike: So we ended up not playing the show and we went to a billiard hall and the pool tables were much too large.

Chris also is involved with rock ‘n’ roll too, Fat Mike. And Chris, maybe you want to mention to Fat Mike about your book and what’s going to be going on tomorrow night?

CW: Yes, um, I’m having a book launch at the Asbalt Hotel for my new book, Destroy Canada. (available at )

Chris’ other book that he wrote chronicles a lot of the Winnipeg punk scene. Maybe Fat Mike would be interested in picking that one up, right Chris?

CW: Yeah. It’s called I Was A Punk Before You Were A Punk. It’s y’know, it’s a joke we used to say to each other like when we were kids and none of us had been punks for very long and we used to say y’know, “I was a punk before you were a punk.”

Fat Mike: Right, but you’re talking months though?

CW: Yeah, yeah y’know, back in the early ‘80s like in y’know 1980—

Fat Mike: I got that a lot in high school when I would, y’know, people would call me a poser.

CW: And you’d say “I was a punk before you were a punk.”

Fat Mike: No, no, they were punks before me, but we’re still talkin’ y’know, a year.

CW: Yeah, exactly.

Fat Mike: It was still 1980. They, my friends, saw The Germs so I was a poser.

CW: Aw man, I wish I saw The Germs.

But Fat Mike should really pick up this book right Chris Walter? Because you actually mention the Stretch Marks and there’s pictures of you slamming to the Stretch Marks in the book right?

CW: Yeah.

Fat Mike: Yeah, well I think we should, uh, get this issue over with right now. Who was the best Canadian punk band?

CW: Personality Crisis.

Fat Mike: That’s exactly right. It’s Personality Crisis.

Now, why was that and what was your experience with Personality Crisis Fat Mike?

Fat Mike: Well, they were awesome and I went to go see ‘em in Hollywood but they weren’t going on for an hour so I went to the alley and drank a 40 ounce and got arrested and missed the show.

CW: Shitty. They were great.

Fat Mike: I know — bummed!

CW: Yeah.

And they were from Winnipeg right Chris?

CW: Well, half of them were from Calgary, but then they moved, those two moved to Winnipeg.

Fat Mike: Marcus, I thought you knew your shit dude. [laughs]

Also The Neos as well. They’re one of your favourites. Did you catch The Neos at all Fat Mike?

No, I don’t think they ever came down to California.

So, who did you—

I don’t know if they ever actually played a live show.

Yes they did of course — they did come down to California. Actually their very first tour to California was in a station wagon and NoMeansNo was the backup band.


The Neos and NoMeansNo. And that kind of attracted Jello to NoMeansNo and then, well, maybe the rest is history. So we have Death Sentence. We have The Sretch Marks. We have The Neos from Victoria. Personality Crisis. What about the other Canadian classic punk bands, aside from D.O.A? What about some of the newer ones? That’s what I was wondering.

The Real Mackenzies.

CW: Million Dollar Marxists from Ottawa. They’re great.

Fat Mike: Are they?

Don’t mention them to Fat Mike because they’re they’re signed to GearHead!

CW: Yeah they are.

Fat Mike: I, uh, this may be surprising, but I’m actually playing bass on the new Real Mackenzies album.

CW: Oh yeah?

Cool. I heard that they just got a new drummer. The guy from Good Riddance.

Fat Mike: That’s true.

CW: Wow. That’s good.

Fat Mike: And uh we’re uh, we’re recording their record right now.

So Chris, have we missed anybody else? Have we missed anyone else from all-time Canadian punk? Propagandhi are, are one of the most important punk bands ever. What do you think about Propagandhi, Chris Walter? Having moved out of Winnipeg kind of after Propagandhi had got going right?

CW: Yeah, they got started getting going in the early ‘90s. About the time I left. They’re a pretty serious band, y’know, pretty serious guys but they seem very sincere and honest to me and they seem to live by their beliefs and stuff.

Fat Mike: They make the curve.

CW: I almost thought they sounded like NOFX strangely enough though, but not without the political lyrics and stuff.

Fat Mike: Right, they’re a little more metal.

Are they mad at you still Fat Mike?

Mad at me?

I thought Propagandhi were mad at you perhaps?

Fat Mike: No, no, no it’s just they were gonna be in the “Rock Against Bush” comp and we ended up not putting their song on. We, we all decided it was better off if it wasn’t on. It’s because they don’t believe in the entire U.S. political system in the first place, so they just, we just thought it was kind of silly for them to be on the comp. What about Teenage Head?

CW: Yeah they were great too, yeah.

Fat Mike: I dunno about great. [laughs]

Well, thanks for—

CW: They were one of the first bands I saw. They were killer.

Fat Mike: Y’know the first, the first punk band I ever saw was the Canadian Subhumans.

CW: Yeah, they were great too.

Fat Mike: They opened up for X at the Whiskey. Yeah, that was my first punk show.

That is awesome. So punk was exposed to you via Canada then?

Fat Mike: Yeah. So the Subhumans were the first punks you ever saw.

Fat Mike: Unless you count Killing Joke.

CW: No. Well, there’s a connection because Killing Joke did have some live E.P that was recorded in Toronto, so that’s kind of Canadian. And Killing Joke have been live on the Nardwuar The Human Serviette radio show, but I’m kind of mad at you Fat Mike. You released the U.K. Sub- Humans a bit later on.

Fat Mike: Well, they’re a much better band Marcus.

CW: Hey, hey!

No there, hey, yeah go get him Chris! Go get him Chris! Go get him!

Fat Mike: Come on. Fair is fair. The English Sub-Humans are a much better band.

The Canadian Subhumans are much better than the U.K. Sub-Humans.

Fat Mike: That’s an impossibility. [laughs]

Chris, go get him! Chris, defend Marcus here. Chris defend Marcus.

CW: I like both bands actually. I really do. I like both Subhumans.

Well, thanks so much Chris.Keep on rockin’ in the free world and doot doola doot doo... See ya, Chris.Chris, doot doola doot doo...

CW: Oh shit.

Fat Mike, you’re calling me Marcus, but a lot of people have been calling you Mike Burkett lately.

Oh Yeah.

What is up with that? In Punk Planet they called you Mike Burkett.

I guess they think it’s outing me or something? Like I care if people know my name? [laughs]

Like in the intro it was ‘Fat Mike’ Burkett. You think they could have had it on a header, but it was just Mike Burkett. It made me really angry.

Yeah, it didn’t make me angry at all.

It’s, well I know what it feels to be called the real name. Like Marcus.


Senator Mike Burkett

I, I can’t handle it. So, Fat Mike Burkett. Now Mike, the last time I talked to you I mentioned that there was an Idaho State Senator called Mike Burkett. There really was. Have you found anything more about this?

No, I don’t care.

Isn’t that amazing though? Mike Burkett. Your exact name is the name of an Idaho State senator from 1988 to 1992 and 2002 to 2004, all these years.

Uh, not really that amazing.

Fat Mike, what opportunities have arose since punk voter? For instance, were you not approached by Russell Simmons to do some sort of “We Are The World” thing?


That’s incredible. Like Russell Simmons. He’s like the Def Jam dude right?

Yeah, but I declined.

But wouldn’t that be incredible? I know that’s kind of like an additional perk and it might be kind of embarrassing, but still Russell Simmons!

I don’t even know what he does. What was cooler is the other day I was in New York and Jesse Jackson was sitting at a table next to me and I said “Hi” to him and he knew who I was, so that was pretty cool.

Oh that’s amazing! You got to get him to do some spoken word or something like that.

Not really. He’s kind of dull.

How did he find out about you? Were you thinking “How did he know about Fat Mike?” Would it have been all the shows you did?

Well, I did a lot of press about punk voter as well as Russell Simmons’ organization and, y’know, all the organizations, the grassroots organizations that were trying to help the Democrat party y’know? There, there was a lot of press and Jesse Jackson’s in there. Him and his Rainbow Coalition, which is kind of a funny name for a Black organization. But I dunno, he knew who I was. It was, I was very flattered.

Fat Mike of Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies, could you play for the troops if you wanted to? Would they allow you to play for the troops because perhaps you’re not for the president.

Uh, they allowed Al Franken and all he did was make fun of the president when he was out there.

Have you thought about tryin’ to play for the troops at all?

Oh, there’s no fuckin’ way I’m goin’ out there.

But how about for the soldiers cause they, I’m sure they would enjoy something. Isn’t that where it starts? Grassroots?

Y’know, I wouldn’t mind playing music for some of the soldiers that are against the war, who don’t want to be there and are bummed out, but there’s a lot of soldiers who do want to be there and they like shooting people and I don’t want to play for them.

I asked you before Fat Mike, about your band outfits. Like where you got them, where you got them made, what do you base them on—

I told you we got them in Hawaii!

I know, but I still think you get them from other places because looking at the nice suits and stuff, I’m curious. Do you have a tailor putting it all together?

No, we bought our, we bought our blue tuxes in Koreatown in L.A.

Cause what I wanted to know was now you can just go on eBay and get a whole bunch of great stuff. I want to think that you really worked hard to get this stuff. Like, where’d you get the guitars made?

Look, we don’t work hard at anything and that’s, that’s why we’re successful. Wow. I guess Marcus should follow that advice. [laughs]

Fat Mike, anything else you want to add to the people out there at all? Anything I want to add to them? Yeah, anything you wanted to add to the people out there at all? Why should people care about Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies?

Well, y’know, Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies, no one thinks we’re great but it’s, it’s hard not to kinda like us.


You don’t have to strive for greatness, Marcus. You just have to try to have a good time.

Just out of curiosity, what made you think that I was a “Marcus”? Just Marcus?

That’s what I heard your name was.

Like, couldn’t you have thought I was a “Ted” or something? Y’know, something a bit tougher?

Well, I didn’t want to make something up. This guy Tom here told me your real name was Marcus, so that’s what I’m going with.

[Nardwuar thinks he has another caller but it really is Fat Mike pretending, in a deep voice, to be another caller! Confusion reigns!]

Caller, are you there?

Fat Mike: Sure. Who are you caller?

Fat Mike: My name is Mike, Fat Mike.

Caller are you there?

Fat Mike: Yes, I’m here too.

No ca-I- I can’t tell which one is the caller here. Wait a second. I can’t tell if you’re the caller or if there’s a call — caller are you there?

[In deep voice] Fat Mike: My name’s Bert.

What? No wait a second. Oh Bert, oh. You have a question for Fat Mike caller?

[In deep voice] Fat Mike: Uh, I was wonderin’ how old are ya?

Caller, do you have a question for Fat Mike at all?

Fat Mike: [laughs]

Fat Mike, are you doing this voice as well?

Fat Mike: Yes, I’m doing that voice as well.

You’re not—

Fat Mike: I’m doing Bert’s also.

No, you’re not.

[In deep voice] Fat Mike: Yes, I’m doing Bert.

No, you’re not!

Fat Mike: [laughs]

I can’t tell what’s going on! Bert are you a caller?

[In deep voice] Fat Mike: Yes.

Is that you Mike?

Fat Mike: Yes, this is me Mike.

Where’s Bert?

[In deep voice] Fat Mike: Bert is right over here.

I’m getting confused— O.K. wait a second. Caller are you there?

Fat Mike: That was the worst impression

Fat Mike, you were teasing me there.

Uh, y’know that was a really bad impression, sorry.

I totally fell for it, and thanks so much Fat Mike and doot doola doot doo...

God’s dead.

Um, that might work—


But just for y’know continuity purposes, can we at least go doot doola doot doo...

Yeah, boop.

That didn’t quite work actually.

It didn’t?!

It didn’t quite work. Doot doola doot doo...

Jew Jew.

That is, I dunno, doot doola doot doo...

What are we doing now?

We’re just trying to end the interview I think.


Doot doola doot doo...

Doot doo.