Nardwuar vs Sonic Youth

Nardwuar : Okay, so we are here on and the day is..um..what day is it today?
Steve Shelly : The 17th
of...
S : April...
Nineteen...
S : uh..eighty-three
Nineteen ninety-three and um first of all, who are you?
Thurston Moore : Sonic Fucking Youth.
Sonic Youth. The rock band Sonic Youth. Now individually, individually, individually what is Sonic Youth? Like who are the individual members of the name Sonic Youth..of the individual..names of the individuals of the rock band Sonic Youth?
Kim Gordon : Thurston
Thurston? Point to Thurston. Say "hi" Thurston.
T : Hi
Next we have...am I being wrong going to you Kim? Are you the songstress, are you like the group spokesman? Group spokeswoman, that's wrong for me to go to you.
K : Well, I am the only woman in the group.
Now who is that gentleman right there with the desert stormish type of stuff.
Lee Renaldo : Yeah, the desert stormish type...
K : Jack Heroid.
Why does he deserve to be here?
K : um...
He's on the road. And in all serious your name is...
L : Jack.
Jack...
T : Do you have any more of the...?
Actually we'll get to that...why Thurston?
L : Me and Thurston were on Venice Beach in 47.

Why did you start the band in Nineteen..why did you start the band?
T : I didn't start the band. The band started me.
But you are the leader. Okay..why did the band begin when Johnny Rotten said punk rock was dead in 1978?
S : Who's Johnny Rotten?
That guy Johnny Rotten.
S : I don't know anything about him.
Well..how about...
K : He was just talking about how punk rock fashion is dead.
Is Sonic Youth a logical extension of Yes, Gentle Giant and King Crimson?
T : Yes.
Why did Sonic Youth move to New York ? Why did Sonic Youth move to New York when bands like your favorite band The Cramps moved away from New York?
S : I don't live in New York.
So is it wrong for me to assume that Sonic Youth moved from New York?
S : Yes.
Okay, so it's an often misquoted rumor that I helped perpetuate right now.
K : Yes.
T + L : You helped perpetuate..you helped perpetuate...
So what was the story then? What happened to Sonic Youth?
T : Do you know Joey Shithead?
Joey Shithead is in a rock group called DOA, a local legend along with a lot of other local legends.
L : We did a benefit for him once.
So this is from the early history of Sonic Youth?
T : We did a benefit for the bass player in the Subhumans.
Jerry Gorbo.
T : Yeah.
No sorry, sorry. That was Gerry Hannah.
T : Yeah, Jerry Useless I think his name was.
Yeah, Jerry Useless, he was part of...when was that and where was that?
T : That was about eighty-three...
L : two...
T : Eighty-two or three. It was when..you know the Vancouver Five.
Was that, was that in Vancouver when the benefit thing happened?
T : No, that was in a little town called Five.

A little town called Five?
T : Yeah...

Where is Five?
L : It's right next to Six.
But where's Seven?
L : Seven's in heaven.
T : Do you know why uh..six "ate" seven?
Six eight seven? Fibonatchie number?
T : Do you know why six "ate" seven?
Nice try, dude!
T : Do you know why six "ate" seven?
L : Six "ate" seven...
T : Do you know why six "ate" seven?
Six "ate" seven...
T : Do you know why six "ate" seven?
NO! NO! I DON'T KNOW WHY SIX "ATE" SEVEN!
T : Because seven "ate" nine.

Did you name the band (to Kim)...who name the band first off?
S : Jesus.
Jesus? Why..is the name like..when I first heard the name Sonic Youth I thought the name Sonic Youth was because I like the rock'n'roll band "The Sonics" from Tacoma, Washington and I thought you were the disciples of "The Sonics". How about that?
S : Wrong again.
Completely wrong?
S : Yeah.
But I was able to assemble a few things..oh and also in the record stores, Sonic Youth, do you know who you are filed by?
S : Squeeze
K : Fred Sonic Smith?
K + S +T + L :
Sioux & Banishes
Springsteen
Suckdog
Patty Smith
The Carpenters
Flaming Watoozees
WRONG WRONG WRONG!
No, well right now in Vancouver record stores, tell me how is this reaction in Vancouver record stores? Are you guys getting filed between the Sneeches? Have you ever heard of the Sneeches? SNFU? SNFU? Some Velvet Sidewalk?
L : How can we be filed between all of those?
Spider Baby and the Straw Dogs and Iggy, well you always see the word Iggy so I'm not going to say that again but there also is the Untamed..
T : Youth.
There also is the Wasted...
S : um..People of Vancouver.
The Wasted Youth. There also is the Young..
L : Youth.
There also is the Youngsters. The Youth of..
K : the Future.
There's the Reagan...
T : Did you ever hear of Youth Youth Youth?
Youth Youth Youth?
T : Canadian band! Canadian punk band man! Get a hold of your roots and fuckin' pull 'em up and sniff 'em and smoke 'em.
The Viletones.
T : Yeah, it's The Screaming Fist.
The Viletones and ..The Diodes.
T : I saw a Nazi dog kill himself.
Do you have the 1979 History of Punk Rock Issue of Bomp, that's the main question here. Actually who am I speaking to?
T : Sid.
Sid of the rock group...
T : Sex Pistols.

In Vancouver, British Columbia..at the coliseum here, in Vancouver, British..this is the coliseum..they are playing with Neil Young right near the Buffalo Springfield van..but actually I was wondering are there any cool Sonic Youth clone bands around? Are there any cool Sonic Youth clone bands?
S : um..let's see..Led Zeppelin, The Who, Beatles.
C'mon, think hard..think hard. Kim are there any special Sonic Youth clone bands?
K : uh..Yoyo.
Did somebody from Surgery refer to Sonic Youth , Sonic Youth as "Aggro Rock"? "Aggro"..what did they mean by that? "Aggro Rock"?
T : It means we are interested in things of Botanical concern.
Was that a nice thing for them to say?
S : Yes.
Do you remember the quote?
S : Oh, yeah.
Aren't Surgery a fun rocking band?
S : Oh yeah..
Wouldn't you like for them to open for you more than Driving and Crying here tonight on the Neil Young tour?
S : Oh no, I love Driving and Crying. They're the best.
Driving and Crying..
S : The best thing about the whole you name.
They're your soundchecks.
S : Come early and leave early.
Since you've been on tour with Neil Young, haven't you? You've been on tour with Neil Young, on tour with Neil Young? A proud Canadian export, he's a proud Canadian..Has Neil Young , has Neil Young, Young Neil, Neil Young, Neil Young, Neil Young. Since you've been on tour with Neil Young, you've been on tour with Neil Young, has he at all bolstered, has he, has he at all bolstered his Canadian image i.e. like Peter Jennings is from Canada, has Neil Young talked about Canada at all on his tour?
T : We just talk about different types of cannabis and sensimilla.

What is spliff?
L : Have you got any?
T : Spliff?
L : Have you got any doobage, man?
T : Hey, have you got any bones?
What is spliff?
T : Let's smoke some bones.
No seriously though, with all respect, has Neil Young said anything about Canada on his tour?
L : Let's take a break..
Like when addressing his audiences? I was also wondering, do you get paid as much as Tesla would for opening for Bon Jovi?
S : I think we get around 10 times what Tesla get.
Are Tesla a good act for opening for Bon Jovi?
S : Yeah..they're all good acts..we love all bands on tour and their buses.
L : All rock bands..
I think it's unusual that you be paired with Neil Young because being paired with Neil Young, Neil Young was on Geffen a long time ago wasn't he?
K : He was?

Yeah, Kim of the rock group Sonic Youth, Sonic Youth.. but he was kicked off Geffen and now you, you, it's your fault for inviting him, it's your fault for inviting him back. How, how did that pairing happen? I mean why is he being friends with you Geffenites, you are Geffenites!
L : It all comes down to a good snorkel job.
A snorkel job?
L : Yeah.
Jello snorkeling or just normal snorkeling?
L : Have you ever seen Gilbert Godfried on TV?
Have you ever seen J.D. King before?
S : Uh-huh.
Who is J.D. King?
L : You know the answer to that question, don't bug us.
S : Yeah, why ask me such questions when you know the answers?

Okay, who are the Pussywillows?
S : Oh, there goes Neil..
T : There goes one right now..Hey Neil..Neil..
Are the Pussywillows, are the Pussywillows a logical descendants of Babes in Toyland?
K : I don't know. I don't know who the, I've never heard of the Pussywillows. Did you ever hear of those guys?
C'mon..did David Sandborn teach you anything?
T : Yes.
Are you a better guitar player than the guy from Dinosaur Junior?
T : Who Lou?
No.
T : Murph?
No, Hash, Haskis...
T : "There never really is a good time..." (Thurston sings..)
When I first saw the Dirty Boots video on television, the Dirty Boots video, when I first saw it, I saw it, I saw it, I was sort of, how can I say it, I thought it was lame, I thought it was lame, I thought it was corny and I heard somebody say how dare I think that, how dare I think that it's a lame video that it's really..was I wrong in thinking that? Was I wrong?
K : Yes.
How long has, how long has..I only play..meet keyboard players that play vox organs.
T : This is our new keyboard player Bill Vicious, and he will do the rest of the interview.

Oh, no! Hey, we're not finished here...
T : We are damn well finished here.
Oh no! Don't take the card! Don't take the card! No, you can't take the card!
L : Don't take the card!
Listen, I want to know, I want to know Mr. Sonic Youth if you ever had sex on acid.
T : Arthur has sex.
On acid..wouldn't that..
T : I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't fuck..at least I can fucking stink.
Don't take the card!
You ripped it, you ripped it, you ripped the bloody card! How...you ripped the card! Okay here we go..now has anybody said that Harry Crews project sucked?
K : Yeah.
Now is Lydia Lunch as annoying in person as she is on record?
K : Um..she's not as annoying as you are.
Thank you. Well, thanks so much for speaking..you are not mad are you? Are you mad?
T : Yes. I am mad.
Well, right now is the point of the interview where we let...
T : I'm a MAD MAN!
..we let you say whatever you want..
T : "There never really is a good time..." (Thurston sings..)
..we let you say whatever you want..
L : Sure Bill, sure go inside (pointing to Sonic Youth road manager)
And I am...
T : I think Devo were the greatest punk rock band that ever lived.
Well, well I have one last thing here before we go..were you guys recently, is this true or not,
L : You dropped your spoo record, dude. (referring to Prison Shakes 7-inch record parody of Sonic Youth's Goo)
Well I know..well, you are going to sign it later pal and we are going to sell it for a lot of money. Well what's that..who are you?
T : Who are you and why am I here?
Yeah, why are you here?
T : Who are you and why am I here?
Who are YOU but why am I here? I know who you are but what am I? Liar liar pants on fire, hanging on a telephone..
T : "keep me.." (Thurston sings)
Now recently you guys were in Seattle, Washington weren't you? Seattle, Washington?
K : Yes.
Did you, did you not record at, did you record at, did you record at a Conrad Unos fun loft there at all in Seattle?
K : Uh..maybe.
Conrad Unos..hey just a minute pal, just a minute..no not in that bag..not in that bag..I have something to show you, I have something to show you! NO! I want to show him, I want to show him! (Sonic Youth grabs Nardwuar's bag filled with Rare Goo's records he was going to show them and Lee breaks a $100 collector record)
SHIT! GIVE ME THAT! YOU IDIOT! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU BROKE IT! IT WAS A PRESENT FOR YOU!
T : Oh, what did you bring?
That was a present, now I can't give it to you..Just a minute here. Just a minute, we want to finish the..HELLO! HEY! HEY YOU! Let me just finish the story! (Sonic Youth grabs Nardwuar in a mock fighting pose)
T : What did you bring?
You were in Seattle, Washington weren't you? You were in Seattle, Washington weren't you? Mr. Sonic Youth? Hey, Mr. Sonic Youth! Hey, hey, c'mon..Okay we still can finish this..I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! (Sonic Youth runs away)